Dreamcatcher Events will assist you in navigating the sometimes delicate waters of wedding and event protocol so that both you and your guests enjoy the time of your lives. Following are just a few typical questions that you may run across when doing your planning:
How and when do we tell people that we've decided to marry?
How do we select a date that everyone can make?
How do I word my invitations?
Should I send invitations to people that I know can't make our date?
Who pays for what?
I haven't spoken to a family member in several years — should I include him/her in the wedding?
Where should divorced parents sit?
When must thank-yous be sent?
When do I start dress shopping?
Should I pay for my bridesmaids' dresses?
Some of the most stressful areas of planning and etiquette issues revolve around family dynamics. Now is the time to be as honest and forthright as possible with your coordinator. Allow her to keep an eye on little headaches before they become throbbing migraines. Does ‘Aunt Marie’ get a little boisterous at family gatherings? Worried about your brother-in-law's never-ending toasts? Your coordinator can tactfully step in to prevent unwanted disruptions and keep things moving along. Regardless of the issue, your wedding day is not the day when you or your groom should be managing family members. In the end, a good coordinator can be worth her weight in gold!
And remember, etiquette is not just about avoiding ugly situations. Today it's also about the latest trends and styles, as well as communicating your personality in a memorable and appropriate way. So don't hesitate to ask your coordinator how to make etiquette work for you — you might be surprised to find out how much flexibility and fun there is in today's rules.
"Families today have so many extensions that it can be a good idea to discuss with your coordinator who needs to be honored with a corsage, special introductions, family seating etc. so that dad's girlfriend or mom's stepchildren are accounted for. For example, in a wedding I recently did, the groom did not have 'warm fuzzies' for dad's current love and felt sad that his mother was deceased. We planned for him to place a white rose (her favorite flower) on the seat in the front row where she would have sat and explained to dad and girlfriend that the groom requested the symbol. It was a touching gesture that was well received by all."
"Also regarding extended and split families, be sure to communicate with all members clearly about the different events that will take place during the wedding weekend. It is much better to tell the members of the family what time the event is, what is the proper attire and any expectations you have—toasts, sharing etc., so that they can plan around transportation and other specifics. Plans can be sent out in an invitation/announcement form or communicated in person. That way, everyone has the same information and can decide in which events they would like to participate."
"Sometimes in working with a couple where there are uncomfortable family situations, we decide to give a floral corsage/boutonnière to the stepfather, stepmother or grandparent. I often remind the bride and groom that 'it's only a flower' and sometimes a little thoughtfulness can help to heal bad feelings. If nothing else, it will help to create a positive ambiance for your event and show that you are doing your part to make things go smoothly for all."
"Planning a wedding is a little like 'doing the marriage' as all the emotions and situations that a couple encounters in an actual marriage will come up. The bride and groom will find themselves (possibly for the first time in some cases) dealing with budgetary issues, emotions, parent participation/interference, priorities, negotiating, scheduling, planning, organizational skills, and handling stress — just to name a few. A good coordinator can assist the couple in dealing with issues responsively and keep the lines of communication open."
"Keep your wedding coordinator appraised of any changes in your schedule. One bride who lived in Los Angeles had planned to drive up to the Bay Area on a Friday with her dress. To her surprise, the alterations were not complete by Friday. She had to wait through the weekend and into Monday of her wedding week before departing. Not only did this cause her unnecessary stress and anxiety just before her wedding, it completely threw off the rest of the wedding schedule. Vendors, guests and wedding party members all had to be notified, schedules had to be rearranged, etc. It was stressful for all and could have been avoided with a few simple phone calls. Remember to include your wedding coordinator at every step of the way, and you'll always be sure to have a seamless event."
Send us an email to schedule your free initial complimentary consultation or call Dreamcatcher Events at (925) 947-3999.